Trying to lose weight is often a very lonely journey. One of the reasons that Weight Watchers works so well is that it takes a solitary quest and turns it into a social hour. I wonder if the people who sign up for Weight Watchers online have as much success– I’d imagine not, but that’s pure speculation on my part.
When I decided to make my project a public one there were two reasons. One was to finally own the most vulnerable part of me. If I own that I am fat, no one can make me feel awful about it anymore. For years I carried around a off-hand insult lobbed at me by Mr. Butch, a homeless junkie who was something of a fixture in Boston’s Kenmore Square.
“If you lost 50 pounds you’d look human,” he called out after me as I rushed by. Not that I’d look pretty if I lost 50 pounds, but that I’d look human. (Here’s a picture of Mr. Butch, if you want to truly see how ridiculous the comment was.) I knew it was ridiculous, but that didn’t stop it from stinging. But if I publicly own my weight, no one can say “You’re fat” and have it stick. My stepdaughter’s boyfriend tried it (yes, he’s persona non grata around here) and I just laughed.
The other is that it is my hope that making it public would make the whole thing a bit less lonesome. I figured I could make a regular short column compelling enough for readers. At least I hoped so. Since March, the blog entries have been read more than 7000 times. That’s pitiful by some standards, but I find it frankly amazing that my own journey to reclaim myself can garner that much interest. I hoped that by making it public it would keep me honest to myself and my readers, and that I would feel that I had to keep going even when I really, really wanted to quit.
And you know what? That worked.
I think I’ve made more progress and better progress and stuck to it much longer because you all gave a damn. This morning when I stepped on the scale, I was down another pound. Now I am just a single pound away from being 30 pounds lighter. (And getting my new mirror!) As an aside I posted this happy news on Facebook, and over the course of the day a dozen people commented with variations on “Atta girl!” and more than three dozen people “liked” it. This made me beam. I don’t know about you, but it’s a rare post of mine that gets that kind of feedback.
Then there are the regulars, who read this every day, and comment many of the days, and the other bloggers who “like” the posts and the feedback is great. Sometimes I get a little lecture, or a pep talk, or some wonderful compliment and all those things are better than the best dessert. I’d rather have a comment than a Godiva Open Oyster and that’s saying something.
So, thank you. Every ounce lost, every mile walked, every inch shed is a shared victory. You’ve made this possible and I am forever grateful. xoxo
Target Today 71 ! Steps: 2759
Breakfast: yogurt with granola, hard-boiled egg Lunch: half a steak quesadilla Dinner: pork tenderloin (3 ounces) sautéed with Shanghai Bok Choy and ginger. Cup of watermelon.