This is Not Goodbye.

 

This is not goodbye. I’m not quitting. It’s not even “I’ll be back in a little while.” It’s more like “Excuse me for a minute while I go to take a pee.”

Yesterday’s post– about it being time for recess– was met with questions, assumptions, howls of protest, and many queries, public and private. Hey, kids, you made me feel all warm and fuzzy, thank you.

I am not quitting.

In fact, yesterday’s post was to assuage concerns that my lackadaisical approach did not mean that I was going to quietly drop off the face of the blogosphere. I realize I have not  been as focused on the diet and exercise facets, and I know that I have written that I’m not sure exactly how I’m going to continue this.

But honey, if you want to be, you’re definitely along for the ride.

Here are a few examples of the conundrums that stare at me like a flock of blinking sheep under the bed. I set out to lose 80 pounds. I’ve lost 25. But really, I think I’d rather lose 100 pounds. If we all go through this together and arrive at 80 pounds, will I want to start over for twenty more?

What if it takes longer than Twelve Moons– a year? Does that matter? Should I change the blog’s name then to Twelve More Moons? Can I make the writing more interesting? Can I make the exercise more interesting? I’m sick of the whole step thing, I tell you. When people tell me, oh so blase, that they walk an average of 10,000 steps a day it sets my BS alarm off. 10,000 steps a day is a lot.

If you have a job where you sit in a chair most of the day– unless you are going to incredible efforts outside of work, you’re not logging five miles a day. You’re just not. (Nurses, teachers, some retail folks, people in agriculture, letter carriers– yeah, I can see that you are walking that many and more– but even when that’s the case, so many of you are still so plump– so what gives?) Sex burns more calories than walking 10,000 steps and it’s more efficient but that only really works if you and your partner are awake at the same time.

There is still all that other stuff: the Y, cycling, the pool, showing dogs, etc. And I will get to that, but along the way, I am going to have to do a more reasonable job with time management. There’s an ad on television lately with supposed Olympic athletes saying things like “I haven’t watched TV since last summer” and “That great book everyone’s talking about? I haven’t read it.”  “A day off? I don’t remember the last time I took a morning off.” Maybe I need to take a leaf from that.

I need to tell the story I need to tell. I need to improve my health and fitness. I need to take better care of my responsibilities to my household: husband, son, dogs, the house itself. That horribly long to-do list from last week is not much shorter, but I have lined through a few things.

So, I’m not going anywhere. There may not be one of these every day, but there will be a post more days than not. Until I figure out exactly how I’m going to re-shape the program to capture my interest again, I won’t be reporting on the target numbers, steps taken, or what I’ve had to eat. Not because I’m cheating– the changes I’ve made in those areas have stuck– I eat better, I feel better, I am more fit– those are lifestyle changes and I feel good about them. I’m not reporting those things because until I figure out the path to meet the goal, there is nothing to report.

See you tomorrow.

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