My new racquetball racquet arrived a few days ago. After much deliberation I chose one that was not the cheapest, but had the best reviews. It’s so light and so well-balanced that it’s quite tempting to hit a few balls down the front hallway. But I haven’t. My husband very kindly picked up the bicycle, newly tuned, and parked it in the livingroom to greet me when I came home on Tuesday. It’s still sitting there. I don’t know, it’s hot. Well, not that hot, I suppose.
But I haven’t felt like doing anything. I know that I feel better when I get some exercise, but I am just finding it beyond my grasp right now. I just don’t feel like going for a hike in the woods or a ride along the river, or down to the Y for a rousing game of r-ball. And steps? Let me answer that with a hollow laugh. I haven’t broken my standard 5000 steps a day in days, weeks, I don’t know, a long time.
An object at rest remains at rest. I have been overtaken by sloth.
Though I feel a little tired, I’m not depressed. I have a to-do list as long as my arm, and somehow still the hours slip by without my crossing off a single item. This morning I stayed in bed an extra two hours reading a detective novel. I am cheerful, and I’ve been eating reasonably well, I just feel — not lazy, languorous perhaps. Like I’m having one of those days where I should loll around in bed most of the day in various states of undress.
But no, tomorrow I’m driving back to South Carolina to check in on my mother and pick up my 17-year-old son. There’s no lolling about in a house containing a teenage boy. (Despite every effort to the contrary, “knocking” is something of a foreign concept for him.)
I wonder if the stumbling block for me is that my routine has been shattered. I tried to reinvent it so that I could write in the morning, but we can all see how well that went. The fact is that I’m a night owl and I am going to write at night. I hope that when I come home again on Tuesday evening that I will be able to shake off the exertions of travel and buckle down again, to become an object in motion.
To remain in motion.
Target number 55. Steps today: 4445. Breakfast: two cups of sliced fresh peaches, yogurt with granola. Lunch: Caprese salad (fresh mozzarella and half a garden tomato, a drizzle of balsamic) Dinner: 8 oz barbecued pork (dry rub, no sauce) half a cup baked beans, half a cup of fresh coleslaw.