It started to rain late last night and it’s rained all day today. I could have gone and wandered around the grocery store, or upstairs to the treadmill, but I just didn’t feel like it. I wasn’t motivated. I knew the goal was there and I just didn’t give a damn. And lately, I’ve been nibbling. A few kernels of popcorn here, an extra bit of granola there, a cracker that goes unrecorded. There are some things that I can eat without limitation– fruits and vegetables, but I’m not nibbling on those. I find myself making that dreaded error– standing in front of the refrigerator, wondering what’s to eat. I am failing to ask myself if I am eating because I’m hungry. Sometimes I know I’m not hungry, but I’m eating anyway. Am I eating because I’m bored? Thirsty? Stressed out? Who knows. I’ve gone way past self-examination in these matters.
I haven’t really looked at the numbers, but I know in my heart of hearts that I have failed to meet them. I have not reached the mark. I didn’t even stretch far reaching for that brass ring, it should be no surprise that I failed to touch it, let alone grab it and hold on. It seems I’m on another plateau and being stuck there sucks the enthusiasm from my bones. I’m not getting the work done that I need to get done– it feels instead like endless circling, waiting for clearance to land, watching the rain sweep across the landscape.
Maybe tomorrow the sun will come out.
The target number for today is 55. I walked 1057 steps.
Number of pounds to lose this week: 2
Number of pounds lost this week: 0
Cumulative number to have lost by this point: 26
Actual cumulative number lost: 25
Number of steps to have walked: 35,000
Actual number of steps walked: 33,297
Cumulative number to have walked: 405,000
Cumulative number walked: 492,656 (186 miles!)